I love eating outside. There is almost nothing better than feeling the sun beat down on my face while enjoying a good sandwich (I mean, a sandwich alone is hard to beat...but the sun certainly adds to the perfection). The weather out here has been beautiful these last few days, and, seeing as how I've been a vampire without a touch of sun this summer, I've been heading outdoors for lunch and some basking.
Eating outside always comes with a little adventure, usually in the form of critters*. Today was no exception. First I was accompanied by a little bee friend. He was nice enough, except for the fact that he kept landing on my sandwich exactly where I was about to bite. I don't think either of us would have wanted to be friends anymore if he ended up in my mouth. Sick. After trying to mate with some pork** that had fallen from my sandwich, my bee friend found himself satiated and went on for porkier pastures.
Then came the pigeons (in frankonology "rats with wings"). I'm not sure why they decided to come settle at my feet, as I wasn't nearly as appealing as the large man spreading breadcrumbs around the corner (I've really never understood people who seek out these infested creatures). I've got absolutely no time for birds of any kind that come begging for food...in fact, I've got absolutely no time for anything that begs for anything, except maybe the cute Tijuanan boy selling chilclett...I love me some chiclett. Well, soon enough the birds had their fill of the measly pickins in my area and, all at once, decided to head back to tubby with the breadcrumbs. They all began flapping and flying in my direction, narrowly missing my terrified face. This hubub caused me to shriek out and take cover, to the amusement of my lunching neighbors.
But, have no fear. This is only the second most embarrassing thing that happened to me today. I started the day off with a face plant as I boarded my bus this morning...a bus that had already left the station and kindly stopped to pick me up on the side of the street as I flagged it down (today I promise I wasn't late...there is a new driver and I swear her clock is fast). Needless to say, if all the passengers weren't already looking to see who was holding up their morning commute, they sure were after the loud crash and squeal that announced my arrival.
*Not the kind one might cover with doilies.
**Not chops, which I have also been known to eat outside.