Monday, March 31, 2008

what would you do for a renee dollar?

Anyone who knows me (which I assume is the case if you are reading this blog...but perhaps that's a mistaken assumption) knows that I:

1) Love a good competition and
2) Will do almost* anything for money.

My darling friends realized these two great things about me and threw a birthday party that was perfectly suited for me. Following a delicious dinner at Salvador Mali's, we headed to our place for the festivities which involved playing, "What would you do for a dollar?"

The Rules:
1. Everyone gets 5 Renee Bucks
2. Challenge people to do stuff for money
3. Be WILD and creative
4. Whoever has the most money at the end of the night wins the BIG PRIZE (a date with me).

So, what would you do for a dollar?

Ethan ate an entire jar of pickles.
I drank the juice.
Ashley told everyone that she's a Wild Succulent Woman (so did Russ).
Jeff Kissed me (on the lips).
Laurie shook her booty (among other things).
I pinned someone up against the wall with my bum for 5 seconds without saying anything.
Jessica bit some guy's arm.
Ethan crawled through people's legs.
Gabe tried (unsuccessfully) to grope Peter, but Ethan gladly let him.
Jeff made butt to butt contact with everyone in the room.
Mega Mike flew me.
Gabe bit people's calves.
I stripped*.
Laura sang one for the cougs.
Ariana caught olives in her mouth.
I did the worm.
Kevin stood on his hands.
Andy drank the sickest thing I could ever imagine.
I shimmied.

I learned two things:
1) I have no shame.
2) Maybe I should develop some.

Many brave and embarrassing acts were performed for fake money that night and it made for a delightful party. Big thanks go out to everyone (especially Laurie) for leaving their inhibition at the door. Thanks for such a great party and for helping me get the 30th b-day celebrations off to a great start!!

Here are some pics of the birthday dinner and a few of the party (unfortunately the camera didn't catch most of the hilarity).

*All previously established standards of modesty and propriety were kept.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Earth Schmearth

I was inspired last week by Cobb's post on earth hour. I wanted to join the efforts to save our earth by turning out the lights from 8-9pm on Saturday March 29th. Unfortunately, that time conflicted with my previously planned birthday party. I mean, priorities, right? So, we decided to delay the celebration and have it tonight instead.

At 8:00 pm on the dot, we turned off all the lights and unplugged a few things, thus (reportedly) reducing our carbon footprint by a smidgen. Mostly I was excited to hang out with my friends in the dark for an hour while giving the appearance of saving the earth without having to do that much. Courtney made a number of suggestions for ways of entertaining ourselves in the dark. We opted to play speed scrabble and Five Crowns by candle light. I was enjoying myself immensely, but apparently saving the earth isn't fun for my friends. You would think they'd be into it since they live in Oregon, but apparently they hate the earth. I even found out that Gabe doesn't even recycle!! What?? They couldn't stop complaining. But, when 9:00 rolled around, I didn't see anyone jumping up to turn the lights back on. Perhaps in that quiet hour they had time to meditate on how much they love the earth and being in the dark. Besides, without earth hour, we never would have gotten to see the obese drunkard burn down.



Thursday, March 20, 2008


I've always wanted a big booty...

What do you think??

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Extracurricular Activities

Has anyone ever asked you what your hobbies are or what you enjoy doing? I think it's a fairly common question, particularly when meeting new people. I always have a really hard time answering it, though it should be fairly simple, right? What do you like to do? My problem is not that I can't come up with anything, but that I have a tremendously hard time narrowing it down. I like to do just about everything. I'll try anything once and I like to pretend that I'm "in" to lots of stuff. My problem is that I sort of jump from activity to activity and never really get good at any of them. My commitment problems are blatantly manifest in the way I spend my leisure time.

I've recently semi-committed to two extracurricular activities that I've loved for a long long time. First off, I joined an indoor soccer team. My friend Jenn from DC moved to Portland a few months ago and graciously invited me to join her team. We're called the Leftovers...and it's a pretty good description. We're certainly not the best team on the league, but we sure do have a lot of fun. Re-committing to this sport has made it painfully clear how out of shape I am. I thought going to my yoga class once a week and occasionally doing the elliptical machine was keeping me fairly fit. That might be true, but cardiovascularly I'm a mess. After about 3 minutes of running around the field like a mad-woman, I was so dizzy that I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn't catch my breath and my lips were tingling!! In an effort not to look like a pansy, I stayed in for another 5 minutes and then thought it was a good time to give another girl a chance to play. I was so tired I could hardly lift my hand to ask for a sub. Jenn had warned me about this but I was deaf to her words of caution. Once I subbed out I went straight to the bathroom because I thought I was going to throw up. Fortunately, I kept all my fluids in my body, where they belong, and I returned to the bench to lay down for a second. The ref even asked me if I was ok. One of the other ladies on the team had pulled her quad, so that made me the only sub. I was back in for round 2. This time I did much better, primarily because I paced myself (read - hardly chased after the ball and only exerted energy when it was absolutely necessary). By the end of the game my legs were like lead and I could hardly move them. I managed to pull my groin the next day at yoga, so I was a bit of a mess for a few days. Last night's game was MUCH better. It was still a little rough, but I wasn't going into a panic due to lack of oxygen and threat of unconsciousness. Ahhhh, I love exercising...seriously.

On the other side of the spectrum, I've picked up knitting again. It's been a long time since I've taken up the needles, probably since the good ol' days of the knitting group on Cheryl's couch in LA. Man, those were good times. Well, I've formed my own little knitting group up here in Portland. It consists of me and Q-tip mama, Ellen. She's teaching me to knit these fantastic fingerless gloves. It will certainly be my most ambitious project to date, but I think I'm up to the task. They might take me several months to complete, at which time gloves might be out of season, but hey...I'll have a brand new pair for next year, right? It's especially fun because I get to hang out with Ellen in her adorable house. She's been laid up with a broken ankle for a couple of weeks, so I like to think that it's a mutually beneficial relationship. I get to enjoy her company, sandwiches, and knitting skills and she gets a break from the boredom of being couch bound. It's a win win!!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I Love Visitors!

My favorite thing about visitors coming to town, besides the fact that I get to spend time with my out-of-town peeps, is that I get to explore my awesome city. Every time someone comes to town I realize how much I love Portland. This is partially due to the fact that I get to see Portland through newcomers' eyes and be with them when they discover how completely rad this town is. It's also because I usually get to try out something new that I've never done before. Of course, I always take people to my favorite hot spots (particularly Sloan and Mio Sushi on NW 23rd) but each time it's like I discover a new little gem in the city of Roses. This was no exception when Kathya and Sylvia came to town.

Two things have been on my list of things to do since I moved to Portland: 1) The Kennedy School (This old school house that has been converted into a great little hang-out including a restaurant, movie theater, and several little pubs, one of which is named Detention) and 2) Multnomah Falls. Kathya and Sylvia are such incredible little travellers (including their obsession with over-priced trinkets) and had the trip perfectly planned. They walked all over the city on Friday while I was at work and hit all of the Portland must-sees. I think the highlight for Sylvia was Powell's Bookstore.
Kathya was not at all happy about having to walk from Chinatown up the hill to the Japanese Gardens, only to find them closed.

Friday night we hit up the Kennedy School and, though at first felt like we should be wearing dunce caps because we couldn't really figure stuff out, ended up having a fantastic time. Sylvia kept saying, "This is definitely the most interesting thing I've EVER done!" They are now officially obsessed with all things McMenamins and are planning a return trip in which they can visit all locations. Saturday we went to the falls where we had a nice little hike, a delicious lunch, and a "brief" drive into the Gorge in search of the Bridge of the Gods. Luckily, our search for ice cream led us right to the elusive and celestial bridge so the detour wasn't in vain. We also nearly escaped death at the hands of a serial killer who was stalking us. I don't think I've ever been flipped off more times by a single person in my life. Our evening ended with a shopping spree and sushi on NW 23rd (natch) before a night of salsa dancing at Aztec Willies.
I had such a great time and I can't wait for them to come back in the Spring!!