1. Portland is a city of completely unprepared alarmists. Even though Arctic Blast 2008 is nigh unto the apocalypse (according to the Portland metropolitan area populace), no one owns so much as an ice scraper for their car windows let alone plows to clear the now re-frozen streets.
2. 1 small hill* of solid ice + 60 pounds of kitty litter + 2 slip sliding giggly girls = Sweet sweet freedom.
3. Arctic blasts make for FANTASTIC snowboarding in waist deep powder.
4. Ridiculous pimped-out low profile tires aren’t the best tires for snow.
5. They don’t make chains or cables to fit ridiculous pimped-out low profile tires.
6. If the guy at Firestone says that the cables they have might fit your ridiculous pimped-out low profile tires, don’t buy them. You and your friends will spend an hour in the freezing cold kneeling down in six inches of snow, your hands will go numb, you might swear, and they still won’t fit.
7. I have amazing friends.
8. Always bring your cell phone car charger with you. You never know when you’ll be driving in an Arctic blast in a city with no plows with ridiculous pimped-out low profile tires with no cables after snowboarding all day in waist deep powder and find that you have a dead cell phone battery. You wouldn’t want to spend 40 minutes driving with images of you and your new car in a ditch on the side of the road with no means of calling anyone to help.
9. God controls all things, including slippery hills, traffic lights, parking spots, and the radio.
10. Driving home in an Arctic Blast might make you more sore than an entire day of snowboarding in waist deep powder (which is a near impossibility since snowboarding all day in waist deep powder is one of the most physically strenuous activities in which I’ve ever participated…and I do a lot of physically strenuous activity).
11. Sometimes it’s nice when church is cancelled for a second week in a row so that you have a day to recover from all of the lessons I learned from Arctic Blast 2008.
12. Snowdays are much more fun when you have inflatable sleds, lots of neighborhood friends, and a gigantic sledding hill (i.e. Washington DC's Masonic Temple) across the street from your house.
*This is not my actual hill featured in the video, but a fun one nonetheless.