I did it! I finally did it! For years it has been a goal of mine to go to a movie by myself. I'm not sure how it made it on to my list of things to do, but in my mind, going to a movie by myself was some mark of maturity and independence and a sign that I had overcome my lifelong fear of being alone. A few weeks ago I set my expectations a little high and I tried to go to a concert by myself. Built to Spill was coming to town and I couldn't round up anyone to go with me, but I was dying to see them since I had missed them every other time they'd been touring in my area and I heard they put on a really great show. So, I bought my ticket, tried to convince everyone I knew that I was ok with going on my own and I wasn't feeling lonely, and mentally prepared myself to go solo. At the last minute my roommate decided to come with me. Mission thwarted. I was at the same time relieved and disappointed. But, the experience made me realize that perhaps I was setting my sights too high and that I should start with something a little more low-key...like a movie, which was the actual task on the to-do list.
So tonight, I finally accomplished my mission. For about a month I've been wanting to see the movie Once, a film about some singer/songwriters who find love and romance on the streets of Dublin. I couldn't find anyone else who was interested in seeing the movie (or venturing past the comforts of the local megaplex) so I decided to go on my own. I must admit that I didn't try hard to find any fellow movie-goers since I saw this as my golden opportunity to fulfill my life long goal. The movie was playing at the Fox Tower downtown - a local theater that plays mostly independent films and appeared to be the perfect setting for my first solo movie. The Fates were on my side and my timing was somehow perfect (which it almost never is) and I arrived, found parking right outside the building, purchased my ticket, and found my seat just as the lights were going down and the previews were beginning. I must admit it was a delightful experience, and not that much different than going to see a movie with a bunch of friends. Movies are not particularly interactive events. It wasn't nearly as scary or awkward as I thought it might be. I might even dare say that it was liberating. Mostly liberating me from my fears of being being alone and more so from my fears of being judged for being alone in a movie theater. In a recent re-run of Heavy Petting and the City Charlotte questions Carrie for going to a movie by herself on "date night". Tonight, I can finally relate to Carrie as she said, "The city is my date." I thoroughly enjoyed the experience AND the movie...it's a must see.